The No Kid Ditch

When I say they driving me crazy, they driving me real crazy.  Crazy and beyond the cray add the Z is how I feel sometimes. Who is they?  Men! An adult male person, as distinguished from a boy. A man. But not just one man, men in general.  And I’m not particularly talking about one I’m dating, because I’m dating myself right now, and I’m a bonafied woman.  No, I’m just talking about the men I see on a day to day basis talking that bullarky and lip wash.

I decided to be a part of the social society of the humanoids and I check my facebook daily.  I see things like, NETFLIX AND CHILL??? WHO WANNA SMOKE THIS GAS??? WHO WANNA BE MY GIRLFRIEND #2?  WHO WANNA PULL UP ON ME??? And I just begin to feel totally defeated because these are my options. These are the men I’m waiting to find me.  What kind of woman wants to be your 2nd girlfriend?

We hit the era of the Thot.  Thots are winning. Men are leaving their wives for Rebekah and Samantha and that’s totally acceptable.  Rebekah is a college student. She is only in college to find a good husband and settle down in life. She plans on having three kids, preferably two boys and a girl. Samantha is Rebekah’s college roommate and new BFF.  Samantha is actually a stripper and paying her way through college. She has a nice little clientele at the club she works at.  Enter, Donald.  Donald is a nice guy. He’s nice looking , definitely knows how to dress causal.  Definitely looks spiffy in his little outfit. Donald is just trying to see some titties and head home to the wife. Donald didn’t know Samantha was about to be his new life. And Samantha didn’t care that he had a wife and kids.  Samantha enticed Donald with threesomes with Rebekah, not knowing that Rebekah had her eyes set on something bigger than some late night rendezvous.

In the end, Samantha’s got a degree but still strips cause she makes more money that way.  And Donald left his wife and kids for Rebekah who turns out, was a meth head and had a habitual spending habit.  You wanna tap Donald on the shoulder and ask him, ‘was it worth it’? And what is his lonely wife doing now? Sure she’s beating herself up, trying to figure out what she did wrong in the marriage…could have possibly been getting married in the first place been her problem all around?

We are forced by societal terms to grow up, get a job, get married and have kids.  Since the 50s and 60s daddies been going to the store for a pack of cigarettes and never coming back.  For goodness sake, that Franco boy just played a deadbeat dad in a movie of deadbeat dads apparently.  This is some ridiculous ass cowards way of moving on with your life as though you don’t have real life DNA running around asking, where is daddy at?

I think men failed to realize just because you don’t want to have anything to do with the mother of your child, it doesn’t mean you aren’t obligated to your seed to be a physical presence in their life.  This is why they drive me crazy and drove me straight into the no children ditch.  I think I’ve been trying to pull my car out this ditch for the past ten years.  But every time I turn around and meet a man with 4 or 5 kids, i’m wondering, how will my situation with this man be different.  And the answer is, IT WON’T!

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