I learned something new about myself that felt like I was swallowing golf balls. It was just extremely hard to swallow. But I learned that I don’t really know how to actually be in a relationship. And when I say be in it, I mean fully committed to whatever the outcome is, I’m in it. I’m more used to be in a situationship, apparently. When the situation starts to get just a little too tricky or a little too uncomfortable, I bail.
My last couple relationships, I actually let them break up with me. I had already checked out emotionally, so now it’s just a matter of time before he checks out of the situation. It’s always something too. Either they are liars, cheaters, lazy or plain bitter. Whatever the case, I keep constantly finding myself in a new situation until he says or does the wrong thing, and I’m out. Emotionally. I have realized that it doesn’t matter who breaks up with who, when you aren’t supposed to be together that’s just the nature of the beast and you just gotta accept it.
Being in a relationship is actually being there and being involved. I’ve learned just because you get into an argument, it doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship is over. That’s kind of difficult to do when you been called all sorts of names in the argument. It’s like, ‘if you think I’m so immature and dumb, why you with me?’ No one is going to forget the time you called them dumb, it might even come up in a new argument.
The point is, after watching Being Mary Jane, I started to feel like, me and the writers are living the same life and they are just showing the world the life lessons I’ve learned over the past couple of months. Now I’m not saying that arguments shouldn’t lead to breakups because if you arguing all the time, ain’t no way you happy. I’m just saying, just because you argue doesn’t mean you broke up. That’s a lesson I’m learning in my old never been married age.